Surviving the long distance relationship…can you?
October 28th 2006 17:31
Ah, the long distance romance. Surely the biggest challenge on the planet. Hands up who’s had one? I have. And I’ve lived to tell the tale. In fact I never would have left my rather cushy Sydney lifestyle for grey drizzly old London if I hadn’t pursued my hormones and followed my partner to London.
So what did I give up? Well what didn’t I give up? A fabulous lifestyle, friends, a support network, a great career that was gradually growing into my own business empire. Intimate knowledge of the Australian media infrastructure and the ability to pick up the phone and earn some money via my lifetime passion of writing.
A very nice life.
So what coerced me to go? Well, I guess it was love in the end. Here’s how it happened - ever since we’d got together my partner had salivated excitedly when ever he talked of his plans to go to London. But, and here’s where I was a giant ignoramus, thanks to a bad habit called denial, I just thought if I ignored it that it would go away. And that somehow, the longer we were together and the more our plans nudged towards the big M’s - mortgages, marriage and maternal instincts - the more I thought he’d lose the urge. So, imagine my shock when after three years of smug coupledom that he told me he was finally ready to make the move – financially and professionally. It was now or never he cried. More importantly he added, if he didn’t honor his dream, he’d live to regret it.
I’d be a big part of the blame. He valued our relationship far too much to take that risk. But the risk of losing me if he moved to London it seemed, was different. That was on a different level. And with or without me, he was going.
Inwardly I flattered myself by thinking that he wouldn’t really go. Reality hit when he told me the date he’d chosen to fly out. Sparks flew. Voices were raised. Words were said. His dream to live in London predated me. He was being true to himself. He was going. It was definite. He was prepared to risk the relationship over it. I was thrown. I’d never known anyone who’d shown so much conviction. He was committed to me, but he was equally true to his dreams. Deep down I admired him enormously. But as for what I was going to do, I had no idea.
So it was as much as a surprise to me as it was to him when one night out partying at a friends uber glamorous party that, in a romantically enhanced moment, I told him that I would be coming to London. I’ll never forget the way he embraced me and whispered, ‘how you gonna do that?’ It was then that I made a split decision. A decision that I honored only one month later. ‘I’m going to leave my job’, I murmured between delicious kisses.
So OK, I made that decision, but I was still nervous and worried. I cried like a baby when he flew out of Sydney airport and it has to be said, I didn’t really know how things were going to pan out. So, and once again to his enormous credit, he wowed me with the most superb communication skills while he was away – a total of five months before I was practically able to follow. Communication skills that were second to none. He would text, email or phone every day, or worst ever second day. I was left in no doubt that he was absolutely crazy about me and wanted me with him. And you know, it’s true what they say; absence makes the heart grow fonder. I admired this man more than anyone I’d ever known. Ever. Firstly for his unfailing commitment and secondly for the awesome life that he’d created from scratch in London. He was going out. He was having a great time. He was loving his life but more than anything he wanted to share it with me.
It was the most powerful aphrodisiac. He showed me what he was made of and I responded big time.
Eighteen months in and life is good. He proposed on Christmas day and I accepted. We love our crazy, chaotic life, our new friends, exotic European mini-breaks and world-class bands playing right on our doorstep. Without sounding to evangelical, not a day goes by that I silently thank my partner for giving me the courage to do this. He jolted me out of my comfort zone, convinced me I could do more. Encourage me to move countries and reinvent myself. I’ve never felt the spirit of love as much as I do now. Knowing how much was at stake. Knowing that sometimes saying, ‘what the fuck’ is the best tonic alive.
So what did I give up? Well what didn’t I give up? A fabulous lifestyle, friends, a support network, a great career that was gradually growing into my own business empire. Intimate knowledge of the Australian media infrastructure and the ability to pick up the phone and earn some money via my lifetime passion of writing.
So what coerced me to go? Well, I guess it was love in the end. Here’s how it happened - ever since we’d got together my partner had salivated excitedly when ever he talked of his plans to go to London. But, and here’s where I was a giant ignoramus, thanks to a bad habit called denial, I just thought if I ignored it that it would go away. And that somehow, the longer we were together and the more our plans nudged towards the big M’s - mortgages, marriage and maternal instincts - the more I thought he’d lose the urge. So, imagine my shock when after three years of smug coupledom that he told me he was finally ready to make the move – financially and professionally. It was now or never he cried. More importantly he added, if he didn’t honor his dream, he’d live to regret it.
I’d be a big part of the blame. He valued our relationship far too much to take that risk. But the risk of losing me if he moved to London it seemed, was different. That was on a different level. And with or without me, he was going.
Inwardly I flattered myself by thinking that he wouldn’t really go. Reality hit when he told me the date he’d chosen to fly out. Sparks flew. Voices were raised. Words were said. His dream to live in London predated me. He was being true to himself. He was going. It was definite. He was prepared to risk the relationship over it. I was thrown. I’d never known anyone who’d shown so much conviction. He was committed to me, but he was equally true to his dreams. Deep down I admired him enormously. But as for what I was going to do, I had no idea.
So OK, I made that decision, but I was still nervous and worried. I cried like a baby when he flew out of Sydney airport and it has to be said, I didn’t really know how things were going to pan out. So, and once again to his enormous credit, he wowed me with the most superb communication skills while he was away – a total of five months before I was practically able to follow. Communication skills that were second to none. He would text, email or phone every day, or worst ever second day. I was left in no doubt that he was absolutely crazy about me and wanted me with him. And you know, it’s true what they say; absence makes the heart grow fonder. I admired this man more than anyone I’d ever known. Ever. Firstly for his unfailing commitment and secondly for the awesome life that he’d created from scratch in London. He was going out. He was having a great time. He was loving his life but more than anything he wanted to share it with me.
It was the most powerful aphrodisiac. He showed me what he was made of and I responded big time.
Eighteen months in and life is good. He proposed on Christmas day and I accepted. We love our crazy, chaotic life, our new friends, exotic European mini-breaks and world-class bands playing right on our doorstep. Without sounding to evangelical, not a day goes by that I silently thank my partner for giving me the courage to do this. He jolted me out of my comfort zone, convinced me I could do more. Encourage me to move countries and reinvent myself. I’ve never felt the spirit of love as much as I do now. Knowing how much was at stake. Knowing that sometimes saying, ‘what the fuck’ is the best tonic alive.
| 346 |
| Vote |
Comment by Chantal
I hope you're making career for yourself too and having a great time!!
Comment by Anonymous
Comment by Lilla
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
Comment by JaneD
Yellow Brick Road
Comment by Uidentified peeps XD
Comment by Uidentified peeps XD